Part III

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to bring to you "Dueling Ukuleles." Or a snippet of, anyway. Watching the whole 5 minutes of this is not necessary, so I've provided you with a 50 second clip. Not sure how we thought of this one--we were probably laughing about how 2 of 4 people in our apartment owned ukuleles (neither of which are playing them in this clip). and who doesn't love dueling banjos? I think our original intent was good v. evil, but it didn't really turn out that way. Whatev.

Flight ETA: Imminent

"Control 1, Control 1...Do you read? This is Yukon Cornelius, requesting permission to land. Over."

"Control 1. We read, Yukon. Permission to land, all clear. We've got crew out on the tarmac ready to assist you in landing and to light your way in. Over and out."

My Week
(And a few video extras)

Sarah said to me today, "Jesus Christ, Emily, I've spent way too much time with you this week." Ok, so she didn't say that exactly, but that's kind of how it sounded. Then I mocked indignation. Then we had ice cream.

This is what we did together this past week (of what I can remember):

1. (Tuesday...I think) Went on a walk where we encountered 2 people Sarah has worked with, then had some Michael's Frozen Custard.

2. (Wednesday) We went to a Korean restaurant called New Seoul with Nikki. We were supposed to meet Brittany and Jameson there, but due to a mix-up, it ended up just being me, Sarah, and Nikki. We had kimbap for an appetizer (yum). Nikki and Sarah both got dolsot bibimbap. I got kimchi chiggae. It wasn't that great. It wasn't spicy at all and tasted a bit watered down. Maybe they thought they had to dilute it since I was a whitey. Who knows? Their kimchi wasn't too bad, and rounding out their banchan were these potato wedge things that had a sweet glaze stuff on them (I always liked these), and some white stringy radish kimchi. All were pretty good. Only 3 banchan, though? Kinda slim. Lots of Koreans there, though. Good sign, I'd guess.

The bad sign? The agonizing case of food poisoning I developed at 3am that night. Oh. My. God. I thought I was going to die. Seriously. I had no idea what was wrong with me. It was one of the most painful things I've ever endured. I began to worry that my appendix was exploding, or something. I was trying to self-diagnose using online guides. I didn't think it was any internal organ rupture (shudder), but it hurt so bad I was seriously wondering if I should go to the hospital. Then thought about how I don't even know where the nearest hospital is. then remembered that I don't have health insurance. Hmmm, let's nix the hospital idea. Then I violently threw up for an hour or so and had to check to make sure I wasn't upchucking my liver or kidney or something. I was sweating and chilled. I was moaning and roving throughout my apartment, draping myself across any and all surfaces, trying to escape the hideous pain wracking through my body. No luck. Finally, at about 5am, it became tolerable enough where I returned to bed and fell asleep. I hope to never experience that again. The only good thing about the night was that I was spared the ailment of rectal explosions.

3. (Friday) Went on a walk with Sarah in the UW Arboretum. We climbed a tree. Yay for tree climbing! We then went to the brat fest with her parents. The World's Biggest Brat Fest! I got a brat, even though I don't like them. I thought I'd contribute to reaching their goal of 200,000 brats sold this weekend.

4. (Saturday) Went to the Farmer's Market with Sarah. I got some tulips and jerky. We then went to Greenbush Bakery to get donuts, since our favorite donut people at the Farmer's Market are no longer there. Then we went to the public library, I think. Got some DVDs. Sarah got a $20 parking ticket. (ouch) I think we did something else today, but I can't remember what.

5. (Monday) Went to the brat fest, again. I got hot dogs. Screw their goal. Then we went and hiked to Picnic Point where we sat on a tree over Lake Mendota for a while and saw a beaver/otter/muskrat/Loch Ness Monster. Then we went and got ice cream at The Chocolate Shoppe and split a burger and fries at Dotty Dumpling's Dowry. Then I went home.

I think I mixed up our Friday and Saturday, but I don't remember. Huh.

Now for some entertainment. Because I don't think the world should go without seeing Joleen dance, here is a video of her practicing her moves outside our house (before leaving for Oz, obviously):



And here is Part 1 of a movie me, Sarah, Liz, and Brighton made when we lived in our Johnson street apartment. It's the weirdest movie EVER. It started after a conversation we had about our apartment being haunted, since I swear I saw a ghost while peeing one night, and Liz had some weird things go on, too. Not while peeing, though. But then we went off on a tangent, and it gets weirder and weirder...



Behind-the-Scenes fact: No one is actually urinating in this video. Sound effects created by Sarah standing in the bathtub, pouring water from one cup into another. Lens-cap action is supposed to be blinking. I bet you can't wait for Part 2, eh??? It's my favorite scene. :)

I'm Ticked!!!

I think I'm going to go to the vet and pick up some Frontline to wipe all over my body. Seriously, I've determined that I'm a magnet for ticks. I went on a walk with Sarah tonight in a residential neighborhood...on sidewalks...then returned home and investigated the little tickly feeling on my calf near my knee. Oh, looky-here. A tick. EWWW. At least it was crawling around and not sucking my blood. It grossed me out that I was wearing pants and the little bugger still managed to get all the way to my knee. Ugh. It was a small one. Not small enough to be a deer tick, thankfully. I'd rather not get Lyme disease, thank you very much.

Yay for David Cook beating David Archuleta on AI. So You Think You Can Dance starts tomorrow. Yay! Too bad I'm working during it and my VCR is broken. I guess I'll just have to download it...I think the season finale of Lost is tomorrow, too. Hmmm, what time is that on, again? 8 or 9? I hope 9. Then I can watch it without having to download it.

So, do you think my mom and I have the same mouth? She's 23 in her picture and I'm 26 in mine, fyi:

I swear I feel ticks crawling all over me.

You Are Dumb
And what was the fucking deal?

I was cleaning out my bookmarks (no, I don't need to keep the 60 school district sites I book-marked back when I thought I was going to be a teacher and had to apply for teaching jobs), and I re-found a blog that I think is really funny and entertaining. It's called You Are Dumb. As he says on the info page:

"Why make fun of dumb people? First, because it's funny. And second, because one of the main points of this column is that dumb people ruin things for the rest of us. From the guy with the cart full of stuff in the express lane to the president who can't pronounce "nuclear", dumb people make life worse every single day, yet rarely reap the consequences. This column is a tiny bit of payback."

He's liberal. So if you're conservative, you probably won't enjoy his site. And who are you, because as far as I know, I don't have any conservative friends. It's goes against my religion. Anyway, I was surfing through his comments from this past week, and had a good laugh at this post. In a nutshell (for those of you too lazy to go and read it yourself), it talks about how with the rise of the information age/internet people can find an answer to pretty much anything at any time. Because of this, when you want to find the answer to something and can't, it's all the more frustrating and aggravating.

Example #1: What was the deal with that confluence of fire trucks and ambulances next door last night at 2:30am?

Example #2: What was the deal with all that honking and yelling at 4:15am in your apartment building parking lot last night?

Example #3: What's the deal with the person in the apartment next to you? Why must he play his bass between the hours of midnight and 3:30am?

Anyway, he suggests the advent of a new website called www.whatwasthefuckingdeal.com. Everyone, by law, must submit to the website any loud activity that they are involved in if it's between the hours of midnight and 5am. Therefore, if you are roused from slumber, you can log on to this site and do an address search to figure out what exactly was the commotion that caused you to lose precious sleep. Or as he says, "If you're going to rob me of that vital resource [sleep] because you can't manage your fucking life, then the least you can do is repay me with the specific, entertaining details of your inability to get your shit together."

Martians and Venusians
Cold v. Hot

I was listening to Elton John's "Rocket Man" on the radio yesterday and was laughing about the lyrics:

Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids;
In fact, it's cold as hell,
And there's no one there to raise them
If you did.

It just seems to random. Granted, it's not random in the fact that it's about a Rocket Man but, you know.

Anyway, I went home and saw a headline on yahoo: "Brr! Mars colder than expected." Funny how things like that happen. In case you don't want to read the article, don't worry. The title pretty much says it all.

I thought Preakness was the name of a horse, not a horse race. Oops. :D

I don't think my girl Hillary is going to win the Dem nom. Somehow I doubt we'd ever get a Obama/Clinton ticket, but wouldn't that be nice? Huh. Spell check recognized Clinton but not Obama.

I'm reading an article now about panhandling in Madison. It's pretty interesting, actually. There's one guy whose goal is $10 because there's a motel near the beltline that will give him a room for the night for $10. Then there's this tidbit:

The rules apply citywide, but they've had the most effect on State Street. There are now only two legal panhandling sites there, and one of those is closed this summer due to street construction. That leaves the lamppost at Peace Park, 452 State St.

This is where Regulus and others ply their trade. Like most social settings, it is governed by unwritten rules. Only one person panhandles at a time because pedestrians will avoid a gantlet of cups. No one gets more than an hour at a time. The next in line queue up on a park bench.

"We have to have rules or everyone would run wild," said Jeff Joe, 54, a Peace Park regular.

If you spend time at the park, you will learn this: Panhandlers average $10 to $15 an hour; the most lucrative time is during state sports tournaments, when high school students from small towns flood the strip; older people are less generous; college students are where the money's at.

"They want to make a difference, they want to change the world," Joe said.

The unwritten rules thing made me laugh, and wow. $10-$15 an hour?? Maybe I should take up panhandling!

Another headline: "12-year-old China quake survivor loses leg." Somehow this doesn't make me too terribly sad when considering the fact that 30,000+ have actually died.

Gas in Madison is now $3.78/gallon. Or as Sarah says it, it's $3.77/gallon. Technically, it's $3.779/gallon.

This is the type of blog post that Sarah hates. Haha. Too bad.

Miss Mary Mack v. Miss Suzy
I say Miss Suzy wins on the merits of barely skirting naughtiness

Last weekend I went with my mom to babysit Riley and Nora. They like the sandbox:

Here we are in the morning, still dressed in our jammies:

Yesterday, I somehow got to thinking about playing games when we were kids, and the methods we employed to determine who was (or wasn't) 'it'. The most common was to have all the kids stick one of their feet in a circle with everyone else's feet, and then do some sort of song/rhyme while simultaneously poking all the feet. It's funny, because I have a very good sensory memory of being the "poker" and poking the toe part of everyone's shoe...as well as feeling my toe being poked. Then I laughed about the stupid rhymes we'd say. The two most common:

My mother and your mother were hanging up close;
My mother hit your mother right in the nose.
What color was her blood?
[purple...or whichever color the last person who was poked picked]
P-U-R-P-L-E
And you are not it, you dirty-double dishrag you!

Eeny meeny miny mo,
Catch a tiger by the toe.
If he hollers let him go,
Eeny meeny miny mo.
My mother told me to pick the very best one,
And you are not it, you dirty-double dishrag you!

Bubblegum, bubblegum in a dish;
How many pieces do you wish?
[6]
1-2-3-4-5-6
And you are not it, you dirty double dishrag you!

I was looking these up online, especially the first one, because the "were hanging up close" didn't really seem to make much sense to me...but I guess that's what it is! However, I didn't get a single hit on the "dirty double dishrag you" part. Which was interesting to me. Was that just a neighborhood/very regional addition? Did any of you guys ever say that part?

Then I remembered those hand-clapping games and thought about this one:

See, see, Oh playmate
Come out and play with me
And bring your dollies three
Climb up my apple tree
Slide down my rainbow
Into my cellar door
And we'll be jolly friends
Forevermore, one two three four, shut the door!

As I was writing this out, I realized that I had no idea how to write out the first part-- See, see, oh playmate? Cici, Oh playmate? C-C-O playmate? Wtf? I always just sang it and didn't think about what that part meant. After looking it up, I saw the first 2 options, but the most common seemed to have the song starting simply, "O, playmate." Lame. Also, I guess the original also substituted 'rainbow' for 'rain barrel'. Ultra lame. Wtf's a rain barrel?

Oh yeah, how about this one?

Bo bo, si wotten totten
Ah ah, she-boom she-boom
Itty bitty wotten-tot BOOM!

How weird. I remember some other hand-clapping song involving counting yen, or some shit like that. But that's all I remember about it.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
And I thought he couldn't get any dumber...

Really. I really really really can't stand our President. Seriously, he has to be the biggest douche bag ever. He's apparently given up golf. For our Troops. He recently said in an interview:

"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf... I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal."

WTF. I don't even know what to say about this. It's so completely asinine, I'm at a loss for words.

On a different note, this season of Survivor had to be the best yet. Seriously, it was awesome. Especially the last 5 weeks or so. And I did not see the eventual result coming.

Hey, Jealousy

I was "home" visiting my parents this past weekend+. I got to hear a little about their plans for visiting Joleen and Sunny. I'm so jealous!!!! I'm afraid to learn the details of what they're going to do, because I think it would make me cry. I'M THE ONE WHO'S WANTED TO GO TO AUSTRALIA SINCE 3RD GRADE, DAMMIT!!! *sigh* They'll be in Australia for a month or so, at which point Joleen and Sunny will be taking a vacation from work. So they'll be exploring Australia together. Going to Cairns, Scuba/snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef; Going to Alice Springs, near Uluru/Ayers Rock; I think they're going to Darwin, not sure what the draw of Darwin is; obviously they'll be in Sydney. Anyway, they have all sorts of cool things lined up. Then my parents will fly over to New Zealand for a few weeks. Bastards!!!

And I will be in the midst of grad school, learning all about information use and users.

Australia is kind of a scary place, what with all the animals there that can kill you. Seriously, it has an insane number of lethal animals--snakes, spiders, scary-ass sea creatures. Dingos. Boxing kangaroos. Koalas...they look cute, but I hear they're bitchy.

Which reminds me of that gigantic squid they found relatively recently. It's like, 45 feet long or something. EWWW. CREEPY. At least they're deep sea dwellers. Oh, I just found this "map" of where they seem to dwell, based on recovered specimens. I hate how they all congregate along shore line. Stay away! You're deep-sea based! Shouldn't you be in the middle of the fucking ocean, or something?!? Crikey, look at all the dots around New Zealand. :/ And Florida?? Actually, they appear to be forming some sort of plan to surround North America...I think they're out to get me! Apparently they're not into India or SE Asia.



So the "Most Popular Baby Names" list for 2007 came out. Guess which name sits atop #1, yet again? Emily. It's been the #1 name for girls since 1996. That's 12 straight years of reigning supreme. It's weird, because I always thought that Emily was a popular name for people my age...I knew a decent number of them. But when I looked up popular names from 1981/82, Emily doesn't even make the top 25. I don't think it cracks into the top 25 until like, 1988 or something. I guess Jacob is the #1 name for boys, and it's been #1 for 9 years or something. I don't like the name Jacob. Jake is fine, but Jacob bothers me.

#4 for girls is Ava. Two of my cousins are preggers (Becky and Katie). They're due within a month of each other (late Aug/early Sept). Katie knows she's having a girl, and they decided to name her Ava Lynn (Lynn is Katie's middle name...and her mom's middle name). Apparently, Becky has also decided to name her kid Ava if it's a girl (they're doing the whole "let's have it be a surprise" thing). There's some drama going around because of that.

You know, Kudos to Katie and Nick (her hubby). I find it a breath of fresh air that someone decided to 1) Find out beforehand if it's a girl or a boy, and 2) Tell people what you're going to name it. It seems that everyone wants to be "surprised" about the sex of their kid (how surprised can you be? It's gonna be one of two options...hopefully...), and the trend seems to be to keep possible names secret from everyone until the kid's born. I just find that annoying. Personally. I guess some people say, "We have a few names in mind, but we're going to wait until it's born to decide..."Yes, this grotesquely covered ugly newborn looks SO much more like a Jenny than an Isabel!" Whatev.

Sarah, regarding social security numbers: The last 4 digits would have nothing to do with your family...it's pretty much a random number. The middle 2 numbers also wouldn't have any connection to a sibling or family member. The first 3 are based on area. Since 1972, those numbers are based on the zip code of the mailing address you used when you first applied for a ss card. You're not given a ss number at birth-you must apply for one. Was Jason born in Madison? I don't know what my siblings ss numbers are...I think Joleen and Brian should have the same first 3 numbers, but I might have a slightly different one than they do. Joleen, what are the first 3 numbers of your ss number? (That's not dangerous to divulge, is it?)

The tree outside my balcony is now laden with green leaves. Yay!!!

Kayaking
On the rapids of Lake Wingra

On Sunday, Sarah and I went kayaking on Lake Wingra, which is surrounded by the UW Arboretum and very close to Sarah's apartment. It was a very nice day temp and sun-wise, but it was a bit windy, especially for going out on the lake in a boat requiring paddles/oars/whatever. We opted for a double kayak over a canoe (the canoes are cheaper, Sarah). I think it was the first time I had been in a kayak. I've canoed quite a bit, though. And row-boated in El Retiro park in Madrid.


We went into this little lagoon thing that we had seen while exploring the arboretum last week. It was nice in there because it was protected by the wind. There were a shit load of turtles sunning on logs. Seriously, a shit load. They were very skittish. Pussy turtles.


Then we rowed around in the main lake area for a while and got a little wet with the waves. Then our hour was up and we docked.

Sarah suggested we then go for ice cream, but I was craving a popsicle. Did I spell popsicle wrong, because spell check is saying I did...nope, spell check's just an idiot. Obtaining a popsicle proved to be harder than one might think. We ended up walking all the way to the Your Open Pantry convenience store across from Camp Randall. Then we walked back to Sarah's apartment. Lots of walking.

That's about it.

PS

I went on a "nature hike" with Sarah this morning in the UW Arboretum. We saw a woodpecker, ducks, a goose, a bumblebee, a cardinal, and some other bird I called a goldfinch, but who the hell knows what it really was? They really need to work on their pathage, as we kept getting to random dead ends where our only option was to tramp through a marsh or wade across a river. We found a stick hut that I thought might be inhabited by a scary homeless guy and Sarah thought was built by an animal of some sort (clearly man-made upon further inspection). It was uninhabited (at the time), so we crawled in and enjoyed ourselves a stick-hut break for a while. Then we crossed the river via a fallen tree bridge. Everyone congratulate Sarah on her bravery for making it across. Hip-hip-hurray! It really took a lot out of her. Then it started to rain and we ran back to her apartment. Then I found a tick crawling on my sleeve. [Well, Sarah saw it and informed me that I had "something crawling on my arm"]

I swear to God I feel ticks crawling all over me now. Ew.

Then Sarah threw me out so she could go to a Norwegian Ridgeback Dog Show. Wait a minute...isn't that a breed of dragon?? [Presuming dragons are real] Yeah, that's what I thought. My bad. So she went to a Rhodesian Ridgeback Dog Show. And I thought she hated dogs...

We also went to the Farmer's Market this morning. I got some jerky and a donut. And coffee. Magical Man was not in attendance.

What To Watch
You Decide!

Ok, these are my current TV options:

1. Golf. Some tournament or other. Wachovia? What a lame-ass tourney name. Some dude named Kim is in the lead. Korean?

2. Kentucky Derby pre-race coverage hosted by Billy Bush. Wtf? NBC has pre-race coverage on the Kentucky Derby???? Who the f cares about the Kentucky Derby? Other than people who own yachts and shit.

3. Tourist show on Milan and Rome, hosted by an annoying guy with a weird accent. American, but where in America, I have no idea. Currently: people stepping and spinning on a mosaic goat's testicles. I kid you not. No pun intended.

4. Infomercial on some exercise machine called Red.

5. Baseball game. Cubs v. Cardinals. I did watch an inning of this, during which the Cubs scored 6 runs. I think this is my favorite option, even though I don't care at all about either team.

6. Some show showing people in embarrassing and hurtful situations with an annoying narrator guy...I think it's called Maximum Exposure. To give you an idea of their intended audience, I just heard this: "From a bar in Moscow...Moscow is in Russia..." Hehe. Thanks. And Russia is in Africa, right??

There ends my non-cable TV channel options. What's your vote?